Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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