I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
