someone get that fucking seahorse.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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