pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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