I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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