i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
