Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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