Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You made out with two different species that night
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize