would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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