Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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