We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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