if you like me you must not know who I am
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
