You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
