My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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