I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
