Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
