Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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