he puts the penis in happiness.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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