I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I need moral support for this bender
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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