Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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