I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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