Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
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I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize