Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
