Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
