She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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