I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
did you just send me my own nude
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
