I'm so fucking centered right now
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
