I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
