that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
