Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
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So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
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Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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