I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
And then he peed in my hair
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