So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
