this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
