Sry I called you an 8
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
