Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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