Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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