i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
