just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
