I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
