i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
