I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
jump out the window naked night went bad
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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