youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he fucked my hip out of place.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
