I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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