You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
