spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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