so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just cut my nipple shaving
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
