Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
