I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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