if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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