is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
