I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
