oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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