Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
