he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
